#1192 - 11/28/07 08:44 AM
He still has control even though i escaped??
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StillEscaping89
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Registered: 11/28/07
Posts: 1
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I was manipulated into a voilent relationship with some for than twice my age. He approached me as a father figure then started to be jealous of other guys i was talking to and offered me a place to stay with him. I took it thinking he was trying to help me but he started getting violent with me and then he started wanting sex from me and when i would say no, he was too old and i didnt look at him like that. He decided to just take it. This went on only a few months before he finally went to far and gave me the nerve to try and leave one more time. Ive been away from him for about threee months but i still see him when i close my eyes and he is my nightmares, i dont want to sleep and it makes me sick that even though i left him he is still having conrol over me. If anyone has found a way to deal with this please let me know, nothing seems to work.
Thanks
StillEscaping89
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#1279 - 12/17/07 10:50 AM
Re: He still has control even though i escaped??
[Re: StillEscaping89]
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shadingscars
Newbie
Registered: 12/17/07
Posts: 39
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You let emotions control you instead of common sense. You should go see some type of counselor to help you get him out of your thoughts.
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#1310 - 12/17/07 09:56 PM
Re: He still has control even though i escaped??
[Re: shadingscars]
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hidden
Journeyman
Registered: 12/13/07
Posts: 68
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You need to move on. There is no reason at all you should be thinking like that. He is obviously a bad person so stay away and do not even think of going back to him.
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#1510 - 01/20/08 05:07 PM
Re: He still has control even though i escaped??
[Re: StillEscaping89]
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ironichope
Stranger
Registered: 01/20/08
Posts: 5
Loc: NJ
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You will escape. First become aware of the thoughts, then consciously redirect them. It's okay to have the thoughts, just turn away from them.
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#1677 - 03/30/08 11:45 PM
Re: He still has control even though i escaped??
[Re: ironichope]
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dixcov
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Registered: 05/17/07
Posts: 23
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I was married to a man who was eight years older than me. He was more liek my father than a husband. The violence started two weeks into the marriage.First it was a slap. Then pushing and pulling my hair. Then it was rapre if I did not do what he wanted or I was dresssed inapproiatley. He ripped my shorts off one day. He put my head in the toilet. He raped me in the butt. I would leave, but I was only 16. My parents were in another state. He would leave me at home and go out with his friends. He gave me many STDs. Over a period of seven years. He beat me one time so hard I lost a baby. Each time he was so sorry. I finally him. I had three laundry baskets. One for each of my boys and one for me. I had no where to go. I ended up with a man who treated me ok, but there was no love. He pushed me down one night and broke my wrist. I left him and had my own house, worked and brought up my two boys. The first husband denied ever hitting me. After 25 years I still hate this man. He remarried and his wife started calling me. I had nothing against her. In fact I felt very sorry for her. She was telling me what he was doing to her. It was history repeating itself. She called me one night crying hysterically. He had raped her analy with his penis as well as a coke bottle (the exact same thing he did to me. I told her to get out! She came to stay with me for awhile. He would not dare come to my house as I had finally grown up and was not afraid of him one bit. He was a coward. He hit women and kids. She got on her feet and divorced him. She is doing fine now as I am also. I found a good man (eight years married happily) My ex tried to pull his crap recently calling me and starting crap. My husband called him and told him NEVER call this number again. He was blubbering saying "I dont know why she hates me.My husband explained real quick. Get over it, she is never coming back to you idiot! He told my son he was taking some kind of medication and he was a different person. All I see when I see him is the pain and humiliation he put me through. I dont even think about him anymore. There is hope and life. You have to stick with it, Dont go back, look forward!!Life is good!
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