#1668 - 03/24/08 11:09 PM
Raped three years ago - remorse
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Kiki
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Registered: 03/24/08
Posts: 1
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Not about the rape. I'm past feeling like it was my fault. ....Mostly. *sigh*
Here's what happened.
I was fourteen, he was sixteen. He was my boyfriend. I was a virgin, he wasn't. One night, we were on the roof of my house. He was always touching me down there, and I'm not going to lie and say it make me uncomfortable, most of the time. It was new and exciting. But I definitely wasn't ready for more. That night, he wanted me to take down my shorts so he could "look and touch". Then he told me that he wanted to touch me, not with his hands, but with his own part. I didn't like the idea, because it was already evident to me that he had a hard time controlling his sexual urges. But then, what 16 year old boy doesn't? So I asked if he could control himself... if he PROMISED he would only touch, and he wouldn't penetrate. He promised. But then he went and broke his promise.
I never told my dad, because I didn't want him to know I was active, and ban me from dating forever. I told my mom and told her not to tell my dad, and she didn't. My dad died less than a year later. My mom, when she sees my rage, reasons that he did something I didn't want him to, but that I shouldn't ruin my life over it. It's like even SHE doesn't believe I was raped. Which a lot of people didn't. If you've been a victim, you'll know how that goes.
A few months ago, I got an e-mail from a girl in Modesto, where he had moved. She said they had dated for a while, and she'd heard about me, and he said I was a lying slut. But after he pinned her to the wall and tried to rape her, she wondered if he was lying. So she called me and asked if he'd ever tried anything like that with me... This ignited the flame again. When it was just me, sometimes I pretended he didn't mean it... that he truly was sorry... that it was my fault for letting it get that far. I didn't think that any longer.
I just moved out of state. But I found out that he's back in my hometown. A small town. He works with another ex of mine, and friends of my current boyfriend. With all the girls that I have been friends with at one point, whatever they may be now.... This isn't just about me anymore.
There are a million psych or victim forums I could have posted on... I went here because I want legal recourse. I would have posted in the legal section, but it was barren... figured I'd get more results here. *sigh* .... I know after three years the chances of nailing him for anything are really slim. But I just KNOW he'll do it again. I want it stopped before it goes that far -- again. I want him put away. Please, tell me what I can do.
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#1671 - 03/26/08 12:29 AM
Re: Raped three years ago - remorse
[Re: Kiki]
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Administrator
Forum Almighty
Journeyman
Registered: 03/01/07
Posts: 87
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Kiki,
I understand that you were fourteen at the time, but at what age are you now? In other words, how many years ago was this? Was there any police report filed at the time?
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#1760 - 08/14/08 10:05 PM
Re: Raped three years ago - remorse
[Re: Administrator]
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aingeal04
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Registered: 08/14/08
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In most states, from what I remember when I did the research... if you are underage you had I think a seven year time limit, or until you turned 21... which ever came first...
Unfortunately for me, both of those has past and I'm just now starting to talk about what happened to me. I still have alot of issues I need to work out and maybe in time I can heal properly.
I would try to google the laws for your state and see if you have any options available to you. You can also try calling an attorney, even if they are not in the right field for that kind of case, they may know the answer or be able to direct you to where you can find the information.
I hope this helps.
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