#1722 - 06/05/08 07:46 PM
Read this please
|
aqua31092
Stranger
Registered: 06/05/08
Posts: 3
|
Offline
|
|
um... im not really sure how to start but um... here goes when i was 7 my uncle raped me i used to go over to his house all the time because he didnt work so he babysat me at first i didnt realize what was happening i didnt think that it was nessarily right though it hurt a lot but he was my uncle and he told me he'd spank me if i told anyone so i kept shut about a couple years later we moved out of the neighborhood so you know he stopped i thought that was the end of that and it was at least with him anyway. When i was in fifth grade my dads younger brother came here from El Salvador he was 23 and very nice i remember i thought he had the nicest smile he reminded me of my brother then one day he was babysitting me and he asked me to come and play with him at the time i thought he meant like nintendo or something so i went he lifted me by the waist and put me on his lap i felt very uncomfortable the door was closed and he held on to me very tight he laid down on the bed with me still on top of him he held on to my thighs and stroked them then said "Do you want to play horsie?" he pinned me to the bed and well... you know raped me. He wasnt very gentle about it it hurt alot i couldnt scream so i just cried after it was over he told me leave and that if told anyone i would regret it . He lived with us for three years and raped or molested me every single one of those days but though most of those days have become a disgusting painful blur i still remember one thing clearly never not once on all those multiple times he touched me did he look at me. Never did he look me in the eyes and that made me feel like trash that didnt deserve to be looked in the face he made me feel like i was nothing. They killed me both of uncles murdered my innocence . At school everyone thinks im this little innocent teddy bear who never been through anything like this but thats only because thats what i want them to think i hide behind a facade of sweet innocence because i dont want them to know who i am ever . The only people who know are my closets friends only them because they are the only people i can trust with myself the only people that wont break my heart ever
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
#1726 - 06/09/08 04:15 PM
Re: Read this please
[Re: aqua31092]
|
deaddutchess
Stranger
Registered: 06/09/08
Posts: 2
|
|
Offline
|
|
How awful...i'm so sorry that happened to you. really i am. i was been raped, although it was never to that extent and it wasn't by anyone in my family, but i know what you mean by feeling like trash and less then noithing. this guy i trusted, who had a girlfriend, was talking to me one day after school and took me to the side of the school, asked me if i liked him. i said yeah-i meant as a friend-and he unzipped me and stuck it from behind. i know how badly it hurts and what's worse is the feeling after. you've been through so much, and i can;t even imagine that from the same person everyday for so many years-once is too much. did you feel like you did something wrong, that it was your fault because you didn;t fight it off? If you did you shouldn't cause you were way to young to even know what was happening, much less defend yourself from it. i know how it hurts afterwords but you will feel better. eitrher you'll meet someone who will love you for what you really are, not the facade, or you'll find solace in the people who love you. even if it's a small group, that's all you need, and i'll be here to listen if you need someone else to talk to :]
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
#1732 - 06/15/08 02:18 PM
Re: Read this please
[Re: aqua31092]
|
aqua31092
Stranger
Registered: 06/05/08
Posts: 3
|
|
Offline
|
|
thanks thats really sweet just i really dont know what to say so i'll just say THANK YOU SO MUCH
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
|
0 registered
and 1 anonymous users online.
|
|
|
A forum community for victims and their families of violent and non-violent crimes.