#576 - 08/18/07 03:00 PM
Issues Involving Female Stalking Victims
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Concerned
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Registered: 08/18/07
Posts: 5
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The problem that I see is trying to get law enforcement and other authorities to actually take a person seriously in regards to being a stalking victim.
That attitude from law enforcement of "I wouldn't worry about it, he's pretty much harmless" is a crock of [censored]. It's time for the government to step up to the plate and pass some additional legislation or something regarding victims rights from stalking.
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#694 - 09/01/07 09:41 AM
Re: Issues Involving Female Stalking Victims
[Re: Concerned]
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Althea
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Registered: 09/01/07
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A friend of mine came to me 2 years ago and asked for help. She was being stalked night and day, spied on and harassed from a man she had met once at a bar. I went to the police and hold her hand through every single jury appointment and tribunals until the lawer of the rectum managed to file a restriction order against her and yes the simple sight of that satisfied smile made me feal like throwing up. I went to PI's and to more police stations. I got her to move and to live in hiding and he still found her. The day I asked her to move in with me and get the hell out of the nightmare she was in, she was raped and muredered by him. I told them that it was all there fault I had already complained and that he was dangerous but the judge just lifted his eyebrows and said "oh well it's to late now".I hate this world and I will never forget the smile of that bastard.
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#1033 - 09/09/07 08:24 PM
Re: Issues Involving Female Stalking Victims
[Re: Althea]
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gilipsie
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Registered: 08/31/07
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I think it depends on the history of the two people involved. But I have to agree, in my experience, it's often too little too late.
Althea, that is one of the saddest stories I've heard in my life.
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#1127 - 09/23/07 07:05 AM
Re: Issues Involving Female Stalking Victims
[Re: gilipsie]
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Laureena
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Registered: 09/23/07
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It's horrible and the police always react too late, I think it's disgusting that they never blame themselves for these "accidents".
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#1256 - 12/17/07 05:29 AM
Re: Issues Involving Female Stalking Victims
[Re: Laureena]
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CrimeVictim
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Registered: 12/16/07
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That is terrible! They should of done more to prevent that from happening to your friend. That just goes to show law enforcement is not what it should be. They do not take everything seriously like they should.
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#1281 - 12/17/07 10:54 AM
Re: Issues Involving Female Stalking Victims
[Re: CrimeVictim]
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shadingscars
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Registered: 12/17/07
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I would suggest that everyone, no matter who they are, take a self defense course or even practice their second amendment right. It really does help.
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#1413 - 01/09/08 01:45 PM
Re: Issues Involving Female Stalking Victims
[Re: shadingscars]
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renee_mp
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Registered: 01/08/08
Posts: 1
Loc: plano, tx
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This was a man at my church who was also our insurance broker.
I think he targeted me years ago and just waited me out.
I won't go into all the details but I will say that he is very manipulative and vindictive. He sued me after I exposed him, filed charges on me and then actually apologized to me in mediation, then continued to file the papers anyway instead of dropping it.
I was told later by a legal authority that he filed on me to protect himself from charges.
Stalkers will use the legal system to harass you, and discredit you if you find them out.
_________________________
hgkhkjhghk
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#1450 - 01/10/08 08:32 PM
Re: Issues Involving Female Stalking Victims
[Re: renee_mp]
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Nick
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Registered: 01/07/08
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Loc: Canada
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There are so many flaws in the legal system that make it easy for stalkers and harassers to hurt people. I just wish that the police and government would take action against these people to prevent others from getting hurt or killed. It really annoys me when stalkers get away with things like this.
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#1476 - 01/11/08 07:28 PM
Re: Issues Involving Female Stalking Victims
[Re: Nick]
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Gandorf
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Registered: 01/10/08
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I really think that the government should work harder to help people who know they are being stalked. If the police actually investigated into many of these matters hundreds of lives could be saved.
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#1637 - 02/29/08 09:12 AM
Re: Issues Involving Female Stalking Victims
[Re: Gandorf]
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Ellcee
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Registered: 01/19/08
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A stalker will do and say anything to put the target in the wrong including making the target look like the perp. I've seen it happen. The stalker who has been tormenting me for years is a (neighbor) who lives less than a quarter mile away. Anything you can think of that a stalker can say and do about a victim, (other than actual physical contact), he has done and said to me. Hes a drunk (arrested many times for DUI), and a doper (also arrested for that).
All last year, anytime I went out to mow the yard or work in the garden, he would drive by, sometimes park on the side of the road and just sit there. I tried to ignor him and he would honk the horn or rev the engine. He wanted me to know he was there and watching. This is just one of the many things hes done. Is anything done about him? nope.
His nearest neighbor dislikes him as well cause hes always watching her, when she comes home from work, goes to work, anytime she is outside. It makes her more than uneasy and especially uneasy for her children. Is anything done? nope.
Nothing will be done. It seems like stalking is just some kind of joke to the police.
Ellcee
Ellcee
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#1638 - 02/29/08 09:24 AM
Re: Issues Involving Female Stalking Victims
[Re: Althea]
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Ellcee
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Registered: 01/19/08
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Althea, It is outrageous what happened to your friend. It shouldn't have been allowed to happen. Something needs to be done to educate the police about stalkers cause they seem to know very little. it made me sad and sick at heart to read your post and what is sadder still, is, it didn't have to happen. How horrible for you as well.
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#1659 - 03/17/08 08:18 PM
Re: Issues Involving Female Stalking Victims
[Re: renee_mp]
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AbbyStar
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Registered: 03/14/08
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I can almost relate to your story. I close family member was being stocked by a female insurance agent. She also sued him and he had to pay a big sum of money. She didn't stop there even with a restraining order this lady would show up every where he went. The worst part was that cousin had to move across the state so this person could leave him alone.
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#1664 - 03/18/08 01:29 PM
Re: Issues Involving Female Stalking Victims
[Re: AbbyStar]
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ttruscott
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Registered: 03/13/08
Posts: 18
Loc: BC
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I really think that the government should work harder to help people who know they are being stalked. If the police actually investigated into many of these matters hundreds of lives could be saved.
That is terrible! They should of done more to prevent that from happening to your friend. That just goes to show law enforcement is not what it should be. They do not take everything seriously like they should.
It is a matter of law that the police do not have a duty to protect any one person from harm. Nor does the government.
If you want protection, you must see to it yourself.
Many people have successfully defended themselves from stalkers though we hear about the horror stories more often and remember them better.
An excellent resource is The Gift of Fear by De Becker. Although it is mostly about stranger danger, it also deals with all forms of social violence and understanding "the survival signals that protect us from violence."
His chapters Promises to Kill and Persistence, Persistence are spot on this topic.
_________________________
"Fear, not compassion, restrains the wicked."
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#1667 - 03/20/08 04:31 PM
Re: Issues Involving Female Stalking Victims
[Re: ttruscott]
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AARDVARC
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Registered: 07/08/07
Posts: 39
Loc: Florida
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Having worked for the police, AND for victim services agencies (I sit on one of Florida's Domestic Violence Fatality Review Boards), I can tell you that in a majority of cases where the problem isn't just a lazy officer, that law enforcement DOES take stalking cases seriously - since almost 100% of domestic violence homicides have a stalking element, and a high number of non domestic violence cases of stalking result in escalation to criminal activity (up to and including violence). The problem is typically one of two things: either (a) the stuff the person is doing is completely legal and while it might be creepy there's no threat involved (stuff like driving past your house a lot, on a public street), or (b) there's no EVIDENCE of the behavior, so even if police take a 100 page report on what the stalker is supposedly doing, the prosecution isn't going to touch it - because you'll say "they did this", and the perp's attorney will say "my client did not, prove it", and that'll be the end of that. A police report in and of itself isn't worth the paper it's written on - and it annoys the police too - but without EVIDENCE, it's going to stay as nothing other than a report that goes nowhere and accomplishes nothing. There are concrete suggestions and strageties for documenting stalking at:
http://www.aardvarc.org/stalking/whattodoif.shtml
The other common issue is that of restraining orders. They're a two edged sword - you never know who will be frightened into obeying the order, and who will be so pissed off that nothing short of your death will do. In themselves, just like police reports, they are a piece of paper. And they are WORTHLESS until and UNLESS they are violated - but most people don't sleep better at night knowing that some perp will get an extra 8 months added to the end of a prison sentence for murder just because he ALSO happened to violate a restraining order. Way too many people go through this step, and then let their guard down - but it SHOULD only be one small piece of a larger, more comprehensive SAFETY PLAN.
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